Wednesday, January 07, 2015

Prejudice and Pride


There are some current events that I really want to react to, but I think it's best if I stick with the plan. In a way, it does all relate.

There are two thoughts that I left out of yesterday's post.

One is that it is easy to be racist in Portland because there are so few people of color, but that's not a very good excuse. I'm going to relate a different story that I read about the same time as the BrownInPDX Tumblr, but I don't think it was from there.

A black woman had applied for a job and she thought she had done well on the interview, but then she was told "I hired one of you before and she quit after a day, so you can see why I'm reluctant."

I guess my first response is to think of some of the horrible white employees I have seen, but that's not really an answer. The difference is that you see enough Caucasians that you know that it's not definitive. Shouldn't it be obvious then that other skin colors are not definitive? That just because you have only met a few black and brown people, it does not mean that there is not just as great variety of personality and characteristics as white? That sounds obvious, right?

So here are the things that I want to point out. One is about the stereotyping that we do. Yes there are often code words that are used, so we can pretend it's not about skin color, but the racist roots are there. The purpose is to maintain a social hierarchy where some people get to be on top, and people below them will defend their right to be on top as long as they don't have to be on the bottom.

I just finished One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest last night. In those terms, the "pecking parties" may not be the point of "the Combine", but they do help keep it functioning smoothly. I see the desire to be above someone else manifest in a lot of different ways.

That is not how we are supposed to be. Any satisfaction that comes from it is illusory, and it produces real pain.

If the issue is that people want to feel special, it is also completely unnecessary. You are already special. I'm religious, so I will say that you're a child of God, and that makes you special. If you don't like that, you're a human being. You are capable of love and creativity. You can ask questions about and ponder your own existence in a way that other species can't. You are special - not more special than anyone else, but you don't need to be.

That leads to the other important part. When people see an Asian woman walking by, and assume she is Chinese, and greet her with "Ni hao", I believe there is a brag in there. Look! I know a Chinese greeting!

You are also reducing that woman to an audience for your great knowledge, and ignoring the fact that if you are in the States that she has quite possibly lived her entire life here, that even if her heritage is Chinese and not one of many other possible countries of origin, she still may not even know Chinese, but no, really, the important thing is that you know a word in another language. You lived in Asia for a year, so you know you must warn the Thai restaurant to not put any baby corn in your food even though it is not mentioned on the menu and there is in fact none in the restaurant.

It would be easy to go into tangents about street harassment now, or hair touching, or various micro aggressions, but I'm not going to. There's already a lot out there. If you are open to letting other people tell their stories, you can find it, and if you're not, my repeating it will just annoy you.

What I can say is that if you do know things, people tend to figure it out. Normal interaction will let people know if you're intelligent. If you're ignorant, that shows too.

That's why it was appropriate that this set of posts started with a story about going around L.A. with Steve and Jen. After a different trip with them (in Yellowstone), I wrote a post about humble brags, and how they were so unnecessary. We could enjoy each others' company and accomplishments, and it was good.

It's important to remember how things can be when humans get it right.

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