One thing that I have noticed when men disagree with
me is that it is common for them to denigrate my blog at the same time that
they expect to be in it: "Maybe I'll show up in a rant in your blog",
"Now you'll just run me down in your little blog."
There is probably a lot to understand about how men
see themselves and see women in their expectation of inclusion, but my point
today is that I know what my blog is and what it's for. Implying that it's just
ranting and raving shows little familiarity with my style or typical subject
matter. (Only two Celebrity Hate-Extravaganzas in over ten years!)
Calling my blog "little" is telling me
what I already know.
I check my stats. I know the audience I get. I
generally only wish that it was bigger when I an reviewing a really good band
that should be more known, and realistically I cannot give that to them.
My blog does not change minds. It does help some
people who tend to agree with me have a better idea of how to say what they want
to say. That wasn't a role that I expected, but I am glad to fill it. Words are
my thing, and I value people having a voice.
Mainly, it is for me. I work out my thoughts here,
among other places. At the same time, sometimes those thoughts have value to other
people. As sometimes people do get helped, it's not unreasonable to be
considerate of that.
I expect that there are going to be several posts on
Everything Else. I referenced it yesterday, but blog-wise there are references
there that go back to October, and beyond. Some people have been following
along for a while, but it might not hurt to fill in some back story. That's
what I want to do now.
First of all, if it is not already obvious, writing
is an important means of sorting out my thoughts. I do keep a journal, which
covers some things, but other things go in the blog or in both. Twice there has
been something additional.
Many years ago I just wanted to try sorting
everything in my head and my heart out. I started a document that I called
Everything. I felt at the start that it would take 200 pages, and including the
Table of Contents I added about midway through so I could find things, that was
right. I believe I started it in 2007, but I didn't keep dates and I regretted
that later.
A lot has happened since then, and it felt like time
for another round. That's how Everything Else got started, and I knew it would
be 100 pages.
When I started the Everything Else document, I made
one page where I wrote down everything from the three lists (Problems, Wants,
and To Do) blogged about in October, plus the sequence of wounds from the
Overall Arc, plus all of the books from the Long Reading List.
http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2015/10/this-next-section-problems.html
(plus the next two day's posts)
I knew I would want to go over all of these areas,
though it was certainly possible other things would come up. And they did. This
topic had a completely unexpected section in Everything Else, and then in the
blog:
(But because I noted dates this time, I can tell you
that in Everything Else I wrote about in on December 13th, and I didn't blog
about it until February 8th. That's not an unusual lead time.)
To track my progress, I changed them all to red
print, and then as I finished a writing segment, I would change it back to the
standard black. I finished the last of the red topics on May 2nd, though I had
to write some new things that came up. (The actual completion date was May
5th.)
I also have all of those topics set up in a
spreadsheet for blogging. With four arc sections, twelve problems, eleven
wants, sixteen assignments to do, and thirty-one books, only fifteen have
already been changed from red to black.
That's why this introduction can be helpful. This
could be many blog posts. For some of them, there may not be much that needs to
be said, but sometimes after the one writing you see new things, and then you
have to evaluate it again. (Which also means that if in nine years I need to
write 50 pages on my issues, it's fine.)
Also, for the To Do list, there are things that I
have written about, but that I have not done yet. The year of selfies has been
helpful already, but there is a lot left to it. I have not started transcribing
my mission journal or taken any driving classes yet, though I have written
about what I think they will accomplish.
Often I can see ahead for several weeks worth of
blog posts. I had something completely different in mind for this week, and yet
my feeling is to hold off on that, and focus on this. Maybe that is because I
am in such a state of transition right now, and the healing that I was working
on is going to be important in navigating the transition. Maybe I need to read
some more before getting back to political topics. My blogging is often driven
by feeling, and I am comfortable both with planning and changing plans.
This is me. I have no illusions about that and I'm
not trying to fool anyone else. Frankly, one of the best things about the time
I have spent at this is the comfort that comes with not needing anyone else to
think or feel a certain way.
This is where I'm heading, and you are welcome to
come along.
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